There are many definitions of what coaching is. The International Coach Federation (ICF) defines coaching as: “Partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximise their personal and professional potential.”

Coaching is a supportive relationship formed between a client and a coach, leveraging a variety of behavioural processes, techniques and methods to assist the client to achieve their desired goals, to improve their professional performance and personal fulfilment within a formally defined coaching agreement.

In a nutshell, coaching is a skilful art of questioning the client into insight leading to meaningful and focused next steps to achieve clearly defined outcomes.

Presuppositions in the context of executive coaching and neuro-linguistic-programming are convenient assumptions; examples are:

  1. Respect for the other persons’ model of the world
  2. Ecology of Change: Behaviour & change must be evaluated in terms of context, & Ecology.
  3. Resistance: in a client is a sign of lack of rapport.
  4. People are not their behaviours.
  5. Everyone is doing their best with the resources available at the particular point of time.
  6. Calibration Behaviour: The most important information about a person is their behaviours.
  7. The map is not the Territory: The words we use are NOT the event or the item they represent.
  8. We are in charge of my mind, and therefore of my results.
  9. Resources: People have resources they need to succeed and to achieve their desired outcomes. There are no unresourceful people, only unresourceful states and behaviours.
  10. Wholeness: All procedures should increase wholeness.

In the context of executive coaching and neuro-linguistic-programming, ecology is the study of consequences. We are interested in the results of any changes that occurs. It is useful to look at the ecology, the holistic consequences to

  • self,
  • family,
  • business,
  • society and
  • the planet

when making the change.

 

The executive coach has to evaluate the behaviour and change terms of context to ensure the ecology of the change for the client (needs to be a everyone wins situation).

Good questions to asks are:

  • For what purpose do you want it?
  • What will you gain or lose if you have it?
  • What will happen if you get it?
  • What will happen if you don’t get it?
  • What won’t happen if you get it?

In the context of executive coaching and neuro-linguistic-programming, CONTENT focuses on the details about WHAT happened and the PROCESS focuses on HOW the client made sense out of a given situation (process is a function).

In the context of executive coaching and neuro-linguistic-programming, Meta Programs are advanced thinking patterns. Thinking patterns which control what we perceive. Meta Programs are mental processes which manage, guide and direct other mental processes. And as such, they are processes at a higher level than (meta to) the mental processes they affect. Examples are:

  1. Direction Filter – What’s important to you about … ?
    1. What’s important to you about your career?
    2. What’s important to you about your relationship?
  2. Reason Filter – Why are you choosing to do what you are doing?
    1. Why are you choosing your present job?
    2. Why are you choosing to learn to become an Executive Coach?
  3. Frame of Reference Filter – How do you know when you are doing a good job?
    1. How do you know when you are being a good parent?
    2. How do you know when you are doing a good coach?
  4. Convincer Representational Filter – How do you know when you someone else is good at what they are doing? Do you have to see it, hear it or do it with them?
    1. How do you know when you someone else is a good coach?
    2. How do you know when you someone else is good at their job?
  5. Convincer Demonstration Filter – How often does someone have to demonstrate competence to you before you are convinced?
    1. How often does someone have to demonstrate competence to you before you are convinced that he/she is a leader?
    2. How often does someone have to demonstrate competence to you before you are convinced that they are a good partner?
  6. Management Direction Filter – 
    1. Do you know what you need to do to be a success on a job?
    2. Do you know what someone else need to do?
    3. Do you find it easy or not easy to tell them?
  1. Do you know what you need to do to be a success as an Executive Coach?
  2. Do you know what someone else need to do?
  3. Do you find it easy or not easy to tell them?

 

  1. Do you know what you need to do to be a success as a parent?
  2. Do you know what someone else need to do?
  3. Do you find it easy or not easy to tell them?
  1. Action Filter – When you come into a situation do you usually act quickly after sizing it up, or do you do a complete study of all the consequences and the act?
    1. When you come to make a business decision do you usually act quickly after sizing it up, or do you do a complete study of allthe consequences and the act?
    2. When you come to make a learning strategy decision do you usually act quickly after sizing it up, or do you do a complete study ofallthe consequences and the act?
  2. Affiliation Filter – Tell me about a situation in which you were the happiest, a one-time event.
    1. Tell me about a work situation in which you were the happiest, a one-time event.
    2. Tell me about a teaching situation in which you were the happiest, a one-time event.
  3. Primary Interest Filter – What’s your favorite restaurant? Tell me about it.
    1. What’s your favorite project? Tell me about it.
    2. What’s your favorite learning experience? Tell me about it.
  4. Emotional Stress Response – Tell me about a situation that gave you trouble, a one-time event.
    1. Tell me about a work-related situation that gave you trouble, a one-time event.
    2. Tell me about a learning-related situation that gave you trouble, a one-time event.

In the context of executive coaching and neuro-linguistic-programming, Sleight of Mouth Patterns are a vehicle for the reframing of beliefs. It is a system of 14 different patterns of response to a stated belief with the purpose of opening your communication partner up to re-evaluating the stated belief.

 

Example: ‘Being conform with society causes happiness.’

  • X = ‘being conform with society’
  • Y = ‘happiness’

 

  1. Reality Strategy: How do you know X causes Y?
  • Example: I am curios, how do you really know that being conform with society is equivalent to happiness?
  1. Model of the World: Is it true that everyone believes that X causes Y?
  • Example: Most of successful people I know judge happiness based on a feeling of personal fulfillment, not on what everyone else does.
  1. Apply to Self: Does X = Y work for me?
  • Example: Well I have tried that, and it just didn’t work for me and so many of my clients who were still unhappy.
  1. Change Frame Size: If everyone believed that X causes Y, then we could never […].
  • Example: If everyone believed that being conform with society causes happiness the people in power would have finally reached their goals in creating well trained monkeys and we as a society would never accelerate to our true human potential.
  1. Hierarchy of Criteria: Don’t you think Z is more important in life?
  • Example: Don’t you think it is more important to live ones true, personal, authentic life and to feel fulfilled on the deepest level?

In the context of executive coaching and neuro-linguistic-programming, a value is a high-level generalizations (often expressed as nominalizations) that describe what we appreciate and what is important to us; in NLP also called criteria.

Values determine how we judge our actions (e.g. good or bad, right or wrong, appropriate and inappropriate) and how we feel about our actions. Therefore, they determine our motivation, and thereby our behavior.

Values are those things we are willing to spend our resources on.

A Values Hierarchy is an unconscious ranking of ones’ values in order of most to less importance. The hierarchy of values can be explored by using the ‘steps in values elicitation’ process. A simple process to explore the conscious and unconscious values of a client.

The hierarchy of values can be changed, if the ecology of change would be given.

The position of a specific value in the value hierarchy can be changed by eliciting the sub-modalities of 2 values and by mapping the sub-modalities across. It is important to notice that the value in position number 1 shouldn’t be changed. Furthermore, the value hierarchy should only be changed if the ecology of the change would be given for the client.

Example: Value #5 should be new Value #2:

  1. Elicit conscious and unconscious values (values list)
  2. Prioritise the values on the list (prioritized list)
  3. Elicit sub-modalities of the value the client wants to move in the hierarchy (value #5)
  4. Elicit sub-modalities of the value one position above the new position in the hierarchy (value #1)
  5. Map across the sub-modalities of value #5 into the sub-modalities of value #1
  6. Turn down / back off slightly one of the driver, e.g. location

 

In NLP the values hierarchy is also called criteria ladder.

In the context of executive coaching and neuro-linguistic-programming, a strategy is a specific sequence of internal and external representations that leads to a particular outcome. In other words, a specific syntax of external and internal experiences which consistently produces a specific outcome.

The human experience is an endless series of representations. To deal with the endless sequence it is useful to suspend the process and contextualize it in terms of outcomes.

Existing strategies can be elicited and new strategies can be installed.

In the context of executive coaching and neuro-linguistic-programming, Chaining Anchors is a technique that is used when the desired, resourceful state is significantly different from the present state and the present state is a STUCK STATE.

A chain anchor leads from a present state over 2 intermediate states to the desired state.

The difference to the Collapse Anchor is that the Collapse Anchors are fired at once, simultaneously, and Chaining Anchors are fired sequentially, one after the other.

 

The major considerations that are important when designing a Chain of Anchors are:

  • Decide the 1st & last state of the chain (e.g. from procrastination to motivation)
  • Decide on Intermediate state #1 (can be motived towards or away-from)
  • Decide on Intermediate state #2 (must be motived towards)
  • State #1 is a stuck state
  • States #2 , #3 & desired state must have movement:
  • States need be sufficiently intense to move chain onto the next state
  • States need to be self-initiated
  • State should not be how they already do it
  • Don’t use major negative emotions

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